Testimonies

Finding my emotional and spiritual path: Getting my life together.

Early one morning as I was driving to my weekly appointment, I found myself lost and far from my destination. With my anxiety level raised to the extreme and feeling anguished and disappointed, I kept making the wrong turns. It seemed that the harder I tried to get to my destination the farther away I was. At times, I wanted to stop and ask for directions, but either I could not see anybody or I was certain that it would delay me even further from getting to my appointment on time. I arrived at my destination 45 minutes late anxious and disappointed.

Later that day, I was comparing that morning’s trip with my life’s trip. I had known for a long time that something was not quite right with my life. The more I strived to be happy, the more miserable and sad I felt. The more I strived to reach my goals, the farther away I was driven from them. Shame, fear and lack of time stopped me from asking for help…

BUT one day an ANGEL directed me to the place where I could stop and safely ask for directions. Thanks Ephesians. Thanks Dear God. I know that not only I, but also my family are now on the right path.

Train Wreck

Twelve step groups often talk of a "train wreck" in your life that finally motivates you to seek help.  In 1997, my wife and I experienced our train wreck.  Fortunately for us, Ephesians Life Ministries was available to pick up the pieces and put our lives and our marriage back together. 

The healing power of community

“Rugged individualism.”  That’s a prized trait in our culture. My grandma would often quote to me that famous scripture, “God bless the child who’s got her own.”  That’s from the book of Billie Holiday.

I was a rugged individual, and the people around me admired that trait and counted on it.  I was very capable, very self-sufficient, very independent, very strong.   Or so I seemed. No one knew that on the inside I was broken, brokenhearted, broken-spirited. 

But I was bound and determined to fix my brokenness.  I figured, “I’m intelligent. I can fix this on my own. I’ll read books about my brokenness, apply the principles. This is all I need to fix my brokenness.” 

I read the books. I applied the principles. But the brokenness remained.

After I turned my life over to Christ, I figured, “Now I’ve got God to help me fix this. I’ll read the Bible, pray and go to church. This is all I need to fix my brokenness.”

I read the Bible. I prayed. I went to church. I even served in the church.  But, to my theological dismay, the brokenness remained.

So I figured, “It’s time to call in a consultant.” I began working on the brokenness with a Christian therapist.   I thought, “Now, I’ve got God and an expert.  This is all I need to fix my brokenness.”

The brokenness began to heal.  But only up to a point.  For months, my therapist urged me to find a support group.  I refused.  After all, I had God, the therapist and my rugged individualism.  What more did I need? And besides, how would listening to a bunch of crazy people who I don’t even know talk about their problems help me with my brokenness?  I was starting to think my therapist was a little crazy herself.

Finally she told me, “I can’t do anything more for you until you start going to a support group.” And she gave me a list of groups that were affiliated with some organization called Ephesians.

Very reluctantly, I began attending an Ephesians 12-Step support group meeting.  And at Ephesians, I discovered something I never expected: The healing power of community.

I didn’t know how healing it was to be able to tell my story—and listen to the stories of others—in a place where stories would be heard with compassion, respect and gratitude. Compassion because we would all recognize that we’ve been there.  Respect because we would all recognize the courage that it took to be honest and open with who we really are and what we’re really dealing with.  Gratitude because we would all recognize that through each story, God was giving us a little more strength for our own journeys.

I still lapse into rugged individualism from time to time, especially during tough times. It’s a great place to hide and pretend there’s nothing wrong and that I can handle it.  But now it doesn’t take as long for me to drop the façade so I can find true wholeness and strength through the healing community at Ephesians.

James 5:16—Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.

God used our Ephesians counselor

My wife and I have been married for almost seven years. We are a blended family with two teenage girls, and all four of us have issues, including Bipolar Disorder, ADHD, and addictions.  When we began looking for a Christian counseling organization that accepted our medical plan, GOD led us to Ephesians… Ephesians has given us the tools and directions that we were looking for. We are devout Christians who want to become one, as God has ordained, and we needed help communicating in a positive, constructive, Christian way. We had to learn to affirm each other: how to argue, or disagree with each other without putting our marriage in jeopardy.  Ephesians showed us the importance and benefits of praying together… With all that we have been through, and there has been a lot, God has used our Ephesians counselor to draw us closer both to Him and to each other.                         

Love broke through my numbness

I first came to Ephesians when I was 18.  I had been raped at 17, diagnosed with a chronic illness at 18, was in an abusive relationship, was estranged from God and had done my best to destroy my relationship with my parents.  Looking back now I can hardly believe that things that happened in such a short time period had so drastically twisted and shaped my life.  In the two years after my rape I had seen several psychologists and psychiatrists.  All at great cost to my parents, who were struggling financially and desperately trying to provide such basics as a home and food for my brother and myself.  Despite their best efforts I resisted healing that I didn’t believe I needed  and fostered a numbness and hardness in my heart that I felt protected me.  I was angry and sad, disappointed and disillusioned but I had schooled my emotions so well to numbness that I didn’t even realize that rather than moving past my experience I was enslaving myself to it.  A counselor at a local facility referred my mother, now desperate for a way to reach me, to Ephesians Life Ministries. My parents contacted Ephesians and asked for help, explaining that they couldn’t pay for my treatment but that I needed help.  And the people at Ephesians responded with love and assistance.  I was still resistant, but from the first meeting with my counselor I began to change.  She prayed for me at the end of each session.  I cried when she prayed and as I cried I began to soften and began to heal.   Because of Ephesians willingness to help and because of donors who give to the ministry, I’m happy and healthy.  Thank you for your help!